I have been with my boyfriend for five years and have only ever been able to orgasm when I’m on top. Is it him or me? – Alex, 21
I can tell who’s putting in most of the work in this relationship. You should still feel blessed that you’re having a orgasm. Some women never have an orgasm in their lives. You’re lucky that you’ve figured out what positions give you one.
You only have a orgasm on top because that’s where your G-spot is. Being on top gives women complete control over the pace, angle, depth and level of stimulation. The best part of this is that it’s not the most intense position for men, so your partner may last longer than usual. This gives you more time to reach your climax.
If you want to make the sex more interesting, there are always variations to girl-on-top. You can try reverse cowgirl, which gives your partner a great view of you and offers a different angle to work with.
If your partner changes the position of their abdominal muscles, it will give you more space to grind against. Also, the different angle of their penis could really give you a good time.
Finally, another great way to spice up being on top is leaning back slightly. This should increase the stimulation on your G-spot. If that doesn’t work, you can always ask your partner for a hand. He can stroke your clitoris while you have sex.
When do you cross the line from missionary to other positions with a constant hookup? – Jessica, 20
Usually, you have a natural intuition to know when to change positions. You never stay in the same position unless you’re super tired or lazy. Yet, when you sleep with a new person, the first few times you have sex can be awkward. Once you’re comfortable with them it’s okay to switch positions. Depending on how long you guys have been together, it’s not abnormal to just stay in missionary position. If you’ve been together for a couple of months, there might be an issue here.
I suggest you and your partner switch it up a bit. If they’re shy, it might be better to ease into it. You don’t want to scare your partner or make them feel uncomfortable. Start with a simple position like doggy style, or legs on shoulders.
If you’re not enjoying the sex, it’s better to be honest with your partner. Assert yourself by suggesting something new. Find positions that both you and your partner will both enjoy.
It’s also a smart idea to let your partner think it was their idea to do something new. Make your partner feel powerful, like they are in charge of the relationship. If you do, they’re going to be more willing to want to spice up the sex.
Contact CU Independent Staff Writer Alex Myers at alexandra.myers@colorado.edu
