Ian Neckin and Sophia Neckin after completing the Boulderthon half marathon (Sophia Neckin/CU Independent)
Mile: eleven. Time: unknown. Pace: lost track. Legs: Hurting. Heart: Racing. Stomach: wants to empty itself. Miles to go: 2.1. This was the exact moment in the race when I felt the pain that makes you want to surrender and walk. Walking would have been easier, but I knew I had more in me. Ian Neckin, an impressive marathon runner, triathlete and also my dad, always says that during the home stretch, “when everything in your body is aching and begging you to stop, that’s when you run faster.”
As you can imagine, he has greatly contributed to my highly competitive nature. When I reached mile 13 and could see the finish line, there wasn’t a single thought other than run. I often heard that race day celebrates all the hard work you put in, and honestly, I found that to be true. Race day radiated a kind of energy you can’t experience anywhere else. There’s the feeling of being part of something bigger, as well as the realization that you are the reason why it’s bigger. Marathoning is a completely unique experience.
It’s a significant commitment that involves many moments of pain, discomfort and exhaustion. If you want to succeed, you have to fully commit to the training process. For five months, I followed a strict training program and nutrition plan, which included running over 40 miles a week, strength training and eating almost exclusively whole foods. I would wake up before seven in the morning, run, eat, go to the gym and then head to my waitressing shift, repeating this routine for the whole summer.
I know what you’re thinking… Why would anyone of a slightly sound mind do something like this deliberately? To which I ask: What is sanity? If sanity means staying within the unrewarding realm of the known and comfortable, then I will gladly call myself insane. Running is unusual; it takes a certain kind of person. You have to be willing to put yourself in a state of discomfort and pain. Once you get comfortable with that discomfort, you push yourself to become uncomfortable again.
When I decided to run my first half marathon, I was going through a rough time. I was experiencing the universally known young adult experience of my first breakup, along with the pressures of college and anxiety about my future. Multiple factors led to my self-confidence and sense of purpose taking a major hit. To be transparent, I felt so lonely that I sometimes questioned whether I had any solid substance at all. I just wanted to shrink into myself and not take up any earthly space.
There was one day in particular when I was overcome with anger. Not being a typically angry person, I felt so out of control that I found myself at the University of Colorado Boulder’s recreational center, running five miles on a treadmill. I was shocked that I ran for that long, as I had never been a runner and hadn’t run more than three miles in months. After that, I just kept running. Shortly after, I signed up for my first race, which was also the moment I realized I was placing my self-worth in the hands of everyone and everything else besides myself. At the end of the day, you have to choose whether to put yourself at the mercy of other people and external things beyond your control or to take your life and your sense of validity into your own hands. You have to decide to invest in yourself and push through the idea and construct of limitation because the only limits you have are the ones you confine yourself to.
I’m not saying that to feel fulfilled you have to run marathons. For me, running gave me confidence, derived from doing something I never thought I could do. While I will always stand by running as an amazing outlet and healthy habit, anything that requires you to push yourself and step outside your comfort zone by incorporating constructive habits will improve your mindset and health.
The beautiful thing about running is that it parallels many of life’s philosophies—or at least the ones that contribute to success. There’s the aspect of delayed satisfaction, knowing you have to repeat the same actions for hours, months and even years to achieve the results you want. It also fosters discipline, shown by showing up for yourself in training even when you’re tired, like eating the foods that promote your overall health when it would be easier to DoorDash. Reaching goals is not supposed to be an easy process, especially when the people around you might have different goals and expectations. Ultimately, it’s about investing in yourself and your future for personal validation rather than seeking validation from others.
“When you finish, you feel like you accomplished something,” said Lily Hall, a fellow runner and CU Boulder sophomore.
Hall beautifully encapsulated the idea that, no matter what it looks like for you individually, life is about celebrating wins and personal achievements.
As the famous “Legally Blonde” character Elle Woods iconically said, “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands.”
So, no matter what it looks like for you, I encourage everyone to find their version of running—an aspect of life that challenges you and pushes you beyond your own expectations. Don’t sell yourself short. Make the most of your unique human experience. Run, Forest, Run.
Contact CU Independent Staff Writer Sophia Neckin at sophia.neckin@colorado.edu.
