Students walk to class on campus at the University of Colorado Boulder on Monday, August 26, 2024. (Andrew Wevers/CU Independent)
I’m sure many of these phrases sound familiar: “These are going to be the best four years of your life,” “Enjoy them because you’ll never get your college years back,” “Have fun, but not too much fun,” “Focus on your studies, but don’t forget to have fun,” “You should ski!” “You should rock climb!” “Stay in shape!” “Get good grades!” “Be a kid!” “Be an adult!” “Meet your best friends for life.” Yikes.
Why is this kind of pressure imposed on most college students before they even step foot on campus for the first time? For me, I was bombarded with all this “adult wisdom” as I was cutting into my high school graduation cake. It seemed as though as soon as the tassel was moved to the other side of the cap, the cap was ripped off my head and replaced with higher expectations and contradictory advice disguised as riddles.
I am a perfectionist. I have been my whole life, so I wanted to do the whole college thing right. But how do you actually do college right? I have made a list based on what I have heard in an attempt to draw a conclusion.
First of all, you have to focus on your studies—but not too much, or you’ll miss out on the social scene. You have to learn to be an adult while also embracing your last chance to be a kid and enjoy being somewhat carefree. But you can’t party too hard, because if your grades slip, you risk messing up your post-college life. You should join clubs, but not too many. You should read and be worldly, but also realize you don’t know everything. You need to become financially literate since you’re a broke college kid living off ramen. You have to develop unique hobbies you can talk about on a Tinder date. Along those lines, you should date—a lot, but not too much or you’ll get distracted. You should speak up but be prepared for people not to listen to you—all while finding time to relax.
I know what you’re thinking—because I, too, wanted to pull my own hair out while writing that. It is time to take a deep breath and acknowledge that there will always be numerous individuals who will attempt to impact the trajectory of your life. However, other people aren’t the ones that have to live your life. A lot of times, these expectations we come into college with can do more damage than good. They evoke the kind of pressure that only triggers anxiety and counterproductive habits. Especially when the only way you can do college “right” is if you are comfortable doing a lot of things wrong.
Stay with me. After extensive research and countless hours spent pondering – and overthinking – I’ve concluded that one of the most valuable uses of college time is actually the ability to make as many mistakes as possible in a controlled environment. Believe me, this idea chilled every bone in my perfectionist body. However, it’s the truth. While it can be uncomfortable, every mistake is an opportunity for growth.
Before realizing that maintaining my sense of security by only doing things I knew I was good at was seriously limiting my potential, I was terrified of making mistakes and disappointing others. Then I re-evaluated and understood that there comes a point when you have to ask yourself: What’s worse, disappointing others or disappointing yourself? Your college experience is your own, just like your mistakes belong only to you. So own them. Respect them. They deserve as much appreciation as your accomplishments.
I entered college as an environmental science major. But as soon as I struggled through chemistry, I realized something wasn’t working — and that I didn’t even like science. It’s okay to laugh. I laughed, too. I was scared to change my major out of fear it would look like I didn’t have my life together. But that was the moment I had to put myself first and let go of the need to please others. After reflecting, I switched to a double major in political science and English, and so far, it’s been one of the best decisions I’ve made in college.
Approximately 80% of American college students switch their major at least once, according to the National Center for Education Statistics.
In college, you should try and fail. You should take classes you think you’ll love and be okay with the possibility that you’ll end up hating them. You should change your mind and then change it again because that’s your right—not only as a student but as a developing person. Put yourself in the position to experience as much as possible, despite your initial skepticism or fear. Embrace the opportunity to meet someone new every day.
And finally, try to stay present. It goes by too fast, so romanticize even the small parts of your day, like getting a cup of coffee or sitting and reading on a bench.
I was asked in a job interview what I thought the definition of success was. Most people think of things like fame and fortune – the two “f’s.”However, I believe the true definition of success is the third “f” most people forget about: fulfillment.
Success and happiness, which I think go hand in hand, look completely different for each individual. You can find as much success being a stay-at-home parent as you can being a surgeon or a lawyer. In conclusion, the only way you can truly mess up college is by not messing up. The only way to do it “right” is by doing a bunch of things wrong.
Contact CU Independent Staff Writer Sophia Neckin at sophia.neckin@colorado.edu
