American society is enduring a crisis in the accessibility of higher education. The proletariat must rise up. …
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OpinionSatire
CU Bluffs: RTD Bus Service Releases New Promo Safety Video
by Shannon Rossby Shannon Ross 4 minutes readRTD’s Bus Service released a new safety video and we have the transcript here. A CU …
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OpinionSatire
CU Bluffs: CU unveils new diversity initiative to recruit ‘every kind of white person’
by Shannon Rossby Shannon Ross 2 minutes readThe school will focus on those with absurd hairstyles and questionable fashion sense to achieve their …
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OpinionSatire
CU Bluffs: Modest CU Sophomore on his illustrious public spitting career
by Camille Sauers 2 minutes readCU Boulder’s own Eric Benson does the school proud by showcasing his world-class spitting ability. By …
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OpinionSatire
CU Bluffs: Regents find enough money in budget for one teeny, tiny chair
by Shannon Rossby Shannon Ross 2 minutes readCU has generously scrapped together enough money to fund the acquisition of one teeny, tiny chair …
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A University Hill resident braves the wasteland to get to the football game in time. A …
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OpinionSatire
CU Bluffs: New study suggest 24 hours of sleep reverses climate change
by Conner Kingsley 2 minutes readCU climate scientists report that sleep reduces carbon levels. Students are spearheading the fight against climate …
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OpinionSatire
CU Bluffs: Congress proposes bill to safeguard sperm, sparks uprising
by CU Independent 3 minutes readThe Justice for Immaterial Zygotes Act is only in early stages of conception but is already …
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In anticipation of the upcoming presidential election results, the elite are moving underground and into luxurious …